| {Rawr} |
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| 05:29am 28/12/2004 |
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mood:  content music: MM-The Reflecting God
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All you lesbian ninja's out there, or bi ninjas, should join this community:
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(9 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| {Importance is Trembeling} |
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| 08:20pm 12/12/2004 |
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mood:  accomplished music: boogie woogie wu-ICP
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What do you guys want for Christmas!!! you must post and tell me!!!! or I shall through a shoe at you :P
I'm listening to ICP...Boogie Woogie, and for some strange reason I really like this song.. |
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(4 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| {Set Me Free} |
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| 12:15am 05/12/2004 |
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mood: accomplished music: take me rawr
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WHOA..i AM...really reallly feeling dazed right now...
Daniel called me an aderoll addict..
I don't think I am, but he talks alot I realized..
I can see my self being a lesbian..its funny how there is a certain girl I'd ask out if I was...
But that only makes me kind of gay...o well....
I need to stop getting in relationships...
Alll I end up having is boy drama anyhow...
Blah...yeah...randomness...
I keep picturng bunnies in my head...thats really weird...
Well, night all....
Hahaha..I just threw condoms at steph and daniel...thats great
Hmmm heres a good question...
What is by far the weirdest dream you've ever had? |
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(3 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| Wheeeeee-hoooooooo |
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| 02:52pm 13/10/2004 |
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mood:  bouncy music: Rawr
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yesh..I am at da mall with eh, we ish chillin...like a da penguins,...
I'm a geek yesh I know!!!I have a huge ing bruise on my leg from where I fell in the toilet, thats right the toilet..!!!!!Buddha Damnit..it hurts,...heh...Spankeh and Bad kitty are dressed like freak school s...
AND WE ISH EH!!!!SQUEEEE....Random hyperness...alright!!!!
And I so don't have to go to any of my classes tommorow which rocks...
I'm pretty sure chris tis lookin for meh right now..but o well.....
He upset me earlier, and I went outside, Sloan came in the rain with me, so it was awesome, cause we was rain hippies together!!!! |
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(1 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| Theres a point... |
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| 01:34am 26/09/2004 |
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mood:  pissed off music: Bleed for me...
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Where one can no longer let someone walk the fuck all over them..
Steven thinks he can call me, and treat me like shit..he thinks I'm that girl who is just going to fucking sit around and take it...Well I'm fucking tired of that....So Stevo, David and Trevor all think I;m a dumb whore....
Fuck them...fuck them.....I sware to fucking gods..why the fuck would someone call and fuck with me like they did...You don't do that shit to a friend...
Just like you don't come to a friends house and try to fuck her sisters boyfriend...and then think its not your fault..And they know exactly who they fucking are too...
People over look the fact that I'm fucking insane..And right now I don't give a fuck..I'm tired of it, I'm not the laided back person I used to be..
'Fuck with me then you fuck with death..I'm tired of it...I've got this blade..and its not for me...it whispers..and the demon's come out to play....I am not what they see... |
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(3 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| School..woohoo |
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| 06:12pm 26/08/2004 |
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mood:  blah music: ....
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Okay..Well..Anyways, first day was good...
And I think it wil be a great year...
Erm....My schedule is:
*World History Honors
*English Honors
*Make-up/Masks
*Health
*Spanish II
*Algebra[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<in [...] her*>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] Okay..Well..Anyways, first day was good...
And I think it wil be a great year...
Erm....My schedule is:
*World History Honors
*English Honors
*Make-up/Masks
*Health
*Spanish II
*Algebra<in which the teacher is the same whom failed me in the 8th grade for this class...*bashes her*>
*Cats 10 Honors
Basically I like all my teachers..For once I have an intersting History teacher..woop..
But I'm exhausted..so bleh.. |
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(3 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| ouch..and thats all I wrote... |
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| 02:53pm 16/08/2004 |
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mood: content music: forever as i lay dying
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Not to self..never roll across anymore beds trying to be McGiver...Because obvjously your not...eeep...
Anyhow update major..eh..where to start..hm...I think Ill start with friday yesh indeed*
So I was kind of upset, not to mention overly bored out of my mind, when my dad called me and asked if I would like to go to the marriot and bring a couple friends to spend the night in a room of our own...So I asked Danny and Meg, and we had a blast..watched movies all night long...its was great..And Danny feel in the bath tub lmao..And the flipping muffins there are 4.41 cents a fucking peice..damn muffin nazis..
We stopped by the mall the morning after, and had fun there...yup...
Saturday*
I had no sleep so to say the least I was flipping wired plus I had this caffenine mints that have as much caffine as a damn cup of coffee...my mom took em away....shes a energy nazi..grrr...anyways...Heather Henon Stevo Smurf, and I decided to go to the brickhouse show to see forever forgotten, because there fucking awesome..
Anyways so the fucking slam dancers were in the way of the moshers, and I was like fuck that, So I got shelinda and tiffany to start a all girl pit with me, right in the fucking middle of those asshats...which was great...cause we pissed them off..Then we were going to start another one and Katie was gonna be in it but I had to leaver before we did..
I handed out all kinds of stickers for mutilatedclothing.com and talked to Billy>.< yay...heh..he told me to call him, so I did, Ive talked to him the past couple nights..
Sunday*
Drank, did a backflip over my sisteers bed, landed oon a stool right in between the legs..and now that hurts tremendously..ended up falling asleep beside stevo, cause we were watching a movie..but it doesnt matter because Im over him now.... |
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(8 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| So Far Away... |
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| 12:39am 07/08/2004 |
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mood:  cold music: It hurts to breathe
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Damnit...R.A.M...The only flaw in my outlook is the fact that I am fucking letting him use me....
X_XDamnitX_X There are so many guys that like me..and I am stuck on him....fucking bullshit..Stupid infatuation...
And the sad thing is the fact that if I wasn't a horndog, none of this would happen this way..I just can't let go.....Grrr...Please somebody help me let go of him...
I'm just so fucking tired of it all......And not to mention I fuckin slashed the hell out of my arms last night...Slashed the hell out of them....With a shard of glass....Damnit.. |
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(1 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| Pain So Good.. |
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| 09:26pm 04/08/2004 |
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I want to kidnap and rape Valo, its official..Geeze he is just soooooo pretty..lol
I had this dream and it was really strange...I woke up and felt ice cold...It went something like this:
I was in this cage, sort of like a bird cage, naked..And my whole body was aching, as I looked around the steel bars were staind with blood..And there were bloody broken wings laying on the floor beneath my feet..I tryed to get out of the cage, but all I heard was a laughing malice voice echoeing in the background...And a child whispering"You'll Never Escape, Your Bounded by Him"
So, Then this shadow begins to approach me from the outside of the cage...I can't see its face, but it grabs my arm, and carves whore into it..I could see the hands, I recognized them,For the were hands that have held me so close...Hands that used to hold me in the cold...
Steven's Hands.....He stepped closer into the light, and i could see him clearly...He said
"But your my whore now"
Then shadows started approaching me from everywhere, and when I made myself wake up..
I was not in my room but bondaged to a table....
Yeah, well, I am not giving anymore details on the dream cause it gets really intense...But to say the least it was strange.. |
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(Kill Perfection.) |
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| Finally |
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| 01:44pm 02/08/2004 |
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mood:  artistic music: Suffocate My Breathing
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Its August, and I am really looking forward to school starting..LOL...my sister is mad cause I have cleavage..I feel like being creative..Suppose to meet up with stevo at some point in time today, we are benficial friends now, and we talked for fucking 6 hours last night..Its crazy...
O well.....We just agreed that friends with benefits was better than having a relationship!
It is true tho...Honestly....hmph..well....yeah |
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(1 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| .....Only Time Can Heal |
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| 04:37pm 01/08/2004 |
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mood:  depressed music: Let Go Of Everything
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I had a really great time at the show, Cassie and Me drank bacardi, woot woot, like giggidy whoa, which is probably one of the only reasons I didnt throw myself out infront of a car last night....
My mom kept bitching at me on my cellphone, she basically told me that it wasnt her job to keep me happy. I asked for a cigarette from stevo, and he gave me one...I never smoke unless I am upset about somethin..They calm me down....
She made me feel like immortal shit so I ended up putting it out on my arm...Then I shoved 3 safety pins through my arm also..I was just so pissed..Mom said if I came home with any cuts on my arm she was taking me to the hospital, so I just burnt and peirced it..Seems fair enough to me...
But I met Keno, this extremely hot guy, who is also 16, but I think he seems pretty conceaded....But hey I got his number...
And Steven kept starring at me, I think he was mad at me, he told me I was a huge flirt...And I asked travis if he said anything to him about it. He said no, but he could also see the way Stevo was watching me the whole night...
He would literally stop, and stare at me...When we would meet eyes, I would usually just look away....
When I got home Dad could tell I took something by the way my eyes were glazed over...I feel like immoral shit..Mom got mad at him cause he let me stay longer at the show, then got mad at him again because he didnt make me take my drug test last night..She is just waiting for me to fuck up..I told Dad the truth...I am quitting everything which probably means I am going to end up slitting my wrists..
I dont care about mom anymore..fuck her, shes a fucking nutcase.....But dad is a different story..Sometimes I wish theyd get a divorce so I could get away from her..I know that is selfish...But i just cant take it anymore... |
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(6 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| update: |
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| 07:09pm 30/07/2004 |
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mood:  crazy music: HIM
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So anyways yesterday I went to Dye's and we chilled outside, and I kicked ass on Halo, then Jamie and Hunter came over, their Jocks so its sort of funny to hang out with them..But anyways, I kicked Jamies ass at halo 15 kills to 6, it was great!!!
Then I came home, and I ended up slicing my wrists pretty nicely, no thanks to anyone in particular...Anyways yeh I was pretty damn depressed last night, but I'm okay now...
Stevo said he was going to make board my face on it....Heh..I find that highly amusing..
*bashes whores...BASHES BASHES BASHES BASHES BASHES BASHES BASHES BASHES BASHES* Okay...done with bashing...
Dye's mom told me to marry her son and I was like, um, no, that'd be like a classic west virgina wedding because he's like my brother..It makes me shudder thinking about..
And Congratulations Jib!!!!!!You finally found a cool girlfriend!!!!!If she breaks you heart, don't worry, I'll break her nose XD |
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(14 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| so free... |
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| 08:10am 29/07/2004 |
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mood:  curious music: nothing but freefall
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So I am single again, I broke up with Aaron, thank gods...But I know I hurt him, but he just liked me too fucking much...urg...Clover says I should go back with Stevo, and so does Kitty, but its just the fact that I don't want to fall for someone and put so much effort in something that is just not worth it...
People don't understand how bad it hurts me to look at him knowing that he'll never love me...I'm stupid for thinking it, and now I just don't care anymore.....If he doesn't want me then I don't want him, its really as simple as that.... |
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(1 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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| No one knows..Not even me.. |
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| 04:09pm 27/07/2004 |
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mood: cold music: whatever you become-cold
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I don't know whats going through my head right now,I can't interupt it..I always got angered with steven because he neverknewwhat he felt..And now, I just feel so depressed....I am just frustrated with never knowing why things happen..I used to love steven so much..and it took me a week.....to fall out of it...
Well, I guess it was just a fling then right? He asked me if he thought we were better as friends or dating..I couldn't answer him, so I replyed with what I thought I would say..What he wanted to hear...I guess what he was expesting.I just want school to start....that way I have something to keep myself occupied with.. |
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(3 Bloody Dolls | Kill Perfection.) |
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